tiny dancer

Today, the strap of my tank top slipped off my shoulder. Naturally, I reached across myself to put it back into place, and the palm of my hand brushed my naked shoulder - it scared me. Well, it didn't so much as scare me, it just surprised me? Then I started counting on my fingers and trying to remember the last time someone touched me.

And then I remembered: it was after my accident, so a week and a bit. In fact, 3 people touched me that day! The ambulance attendant put his hand on my shoulder and told me things would be okay, an older woman who I still do not know put her arm around me while I tried not to cry, and then a girl I work with hugged me, because she didn't know what else she could do for me. That hug was the first and only hug I have received since the mini-trip home, and it will probably be the only hug for another 11 days. This occurred to me just now, and I felt really sad.

And so, I hugged myself, because no one else will.

It was really good, too! I sat in bed and I hugged myself for 5 whole minutes. And I cried on my own shoulder, too, for the loss of such precious human connection. I never really realized how important hugs are, among other things, to everyday life.

But being sad about things you can't really control doesn't make much sense, so I stopped crying. It's kind of like crying over a dead celebrity - even if you felt like you knew them, you never really did, so why cry? I can't cry over the death of hugs I have never received. Maybe this is why people seek each other out, like men and women, I mean. That way, they will always have someone to hug, even when their friends have gone away. And maybe this is why people divorce each other, and why people cheat on each other, because they have forgotten to take the time to just hold one another. Is love not stated to be a basic human need?

And so I say:

J.Jenks., I will always hug you.

P.S. Ikea 2010 catalogue is coming out soon! Ikea 2010 catalogue is coming out soon!