32 degrees

The bitchmobile finally retired, my friends. She's happy to finally be able to rest.

The bitchmobile (real name: Susanna Avery) was born in Oshawa, Ontario in 1992 to GMC and Pontiac GM. She lived a simple life in her childhood, spending her early years in a small lot just north of Winnipeg with close friend, Chevrolet Cavalier. Few months passed before she was adopted by a small family from Red Deer, Alberta, and she spent the next few years of her life carrying them from grocery stores to schools to soccer practices and beyond. Her four doors and fuel efficiency were well utilized until the release of the 1999 Pontiac Sunfire, at which point she was sold in the classified ads to a young woman and her mechanic husband in Kamloops, British Columbia. The bitchmobile, now age 6, spent the next few years of life more simplistically, changing from the hectic schedule of a family of 4 sedan, to the casual vehicle of a childless wife. She lived comfortable parked in the driveway, occasionally traveling to and from the local women only fitness center, until one day, she was once again placed in the classified ads. Her lady had found a brand new Pontiac Grand Prix, and she no longer needed the tiny bitchmobile's steady service. She sat for many months wearing a for sale sign, until one day in May, 2 years ago, I stumbled upon her brilliance and beauty. We spent day and night together, going from one edge of B.C. to the other, and she was a steadfast and loyal companion for me. It wasn't until about 5 months ago that her reliability started to slip up, and after a long conversation together, she told me she was tired. We took one last trip together, and after a tear jerking goodbye, I watched her roll in neutral off into the sunset. And, you know, she's a lot happier now. Last email she sent me, she was in Maui with plans of visiting the East; I'm expecting a postcard any day now.

And I miss her very much.