Live and in Colour!

Ladies and Gents, it's a goddamn Pineapple Express! Someone get me a hammer - I'll be in the backyard building the ark.

I've been pouring over philosophy meditations and uni-illegal sparknotes trying to decipher what the hell it is the Descartes is exactly trying to tell me, and I've got to say: that man had quite a 'stache. Fitting for me to be researching him in Movember. I, too, was going to be participating in Movember this year, using other forms of body hair as my incentive. It then occurred to me two things:

1) I'm not going to raise any money by having the legs of a young Russian man.
2) It's socially unacceptable for me to cornrow that shit and treat it like a hot fashion accessory when halfway through the month I realize that I'm not raising any money and have to find an excuse as to why my legs are so disgustingly fur-lined.

So I went "eeehhh" and hauled out a new Bic for quick smooth-down in the stand-up stall shower. Plus I figure that J Jenks would make a frowny face when I disrobe, because even with the lights off, he could hear my thick leg locks swaying in the breeze of the portable heater. Daaaayuuuuum.

Have I mentioned lately that the baby upstairs has taught himself how to scream like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park? Have I mentioned lately that he likes to do this at the most inconvenient times, like when I'm trying to sleep or when I'm trying to do homework or whenever his spidey senses tingle and he knows that I'm home? Now, I'm not at all into smothering babies, but I think I might be into smothering babies*.

Kthxbye.

*obvious joke**
**don't tell my landlord