wednesday morning.

I woke up this morning at 10:37.

There was a brightness behind my curtains that actually made me want to get out of bed. And I could hear birds outside. I still can. I left my window open all night in hopes that the fresh air would help remove everything that's been on my mind lately. I think maybe we've hit the de-thawing process that happens each year. It'd be awfully premature, but I'm game.

In my efforts to constantly downsize, I found some old diaries from my youth while I was clearing out drawers the other day. I read them. There were things like:

"Today mom says that we're going to take the dog to the park, but I don't want to because the last time we went, I fell off the swings and I didn't like that."

"Janelle farted in our clubhouse and now I call her Poo-Poo. Isn't that funny?"

These written in less than perfect and legible English, of course. The thing that strikes me about these weren't the brief time travel back to 1996, but more or less the kid-logic that I left there. You know, when you don't have to rationalize things except for "because".
Example: I fell of swings, it sucked, I didn't want to re-live it. End of story. That was all the reason I needed. Now, it's more or less: I fell off the swings and don't really want to re-live it, but my mother really wants to spend time with me, and walking is part of an active lifestyle, and I don't want to have a heartattack so maybe I should just do it because I have to. I'm not saying it's bad how things change, I'm just marvelling at how things actually did change. Another thing that's great when you're a kid? Everything is funny. You could say something completely ridiculous that makes no sense to anyone but you, but suddenly you're a comedic genius - especially because adults like to play along.

So, I guess I'm going to go get ready for work now, and as much as it sucks, I keep telling myself that it's not the worst thing that could happen to me today.

And I think that's a pretty solid way to look at things.