Hump Day

Let me start off by saying I'm listening to "All Along The Watchtower" - Hendrix version. It's phenomenal.

My feet reek. No joke. When you stand around in leather shoes with synthetic sockies on for about 8 hours, they eventually begin to accumulate a certain scent. Add the amount of dried dairy living in the crevasses....you see where I'm going with this. Yuck, right? Right.

I had toast for breakfast, and came to the decision that I'm really average. It was disappointing.

I lied to a woman named Connie tonight. She invited me to a Mary Kay make-over party (which makes me feel horribly and obviously fugly), and I politely declined, throwing out the bullshit excuse that I had to cover someone's shift at work. With my luck, she'll show up and the scene will look something like this:

Connie: "Where' that lying sack of shit I invited out tonight? I'mma kill her."

Someone I Work With: "Who?"

Connie: (wielding a hunting knife) "Starbucks employees, you will pay!"

Connie then proceeds to savagely murder my work friends, leaving her Mary Kay business cards strewn about for me to find, mafia style, so that I know who is responsible for the carnage.

And scene.

I was going to tell you something important, but I completely forgot what it was. This is happening to me a lot lately, and I'm actually rather concerned about it. I was considering taking vitamins again, but every time I take them, my pee turns green. I don't see how that can be a good thing, you know?

I'm Icelandic; You're Adorable,

FMcG