finding morality/mortality

You know what's a not-so-good idea?

Allowing heavily intoxicated Neanderthals to operate vehicles near open and blazing fire pits. Case in point: Last night, at a really inappropriate and duncecap worthy bush party, some very liquored up dudes decided it was absolutely genius to back their truck up near the fire as to sit on the tailgate and stay warm. Of course things backfired on them, as most things do when you're swimming in Budweiser and higher than a kite, and the truck ended up in the fire. Yes, in it. The cab was situated directly over the open flame, and black smoke was a-plenty. I fled, as I am accustomed to do when shit goes bad, because I'm not partial to having my face melted off in a fiery truck inferno explosion. Also, I don't like talking to cops and as one of the two (unfortunately) sober witnesses, I kind of figured I'd be a prime choice for interrogation. Nuh-uh, man. Cops? I'm out.

So, I went to my first funeral today, and let me tell you: they are heavy. In fact, I don't really think I like funerals. Worse yet, it was uber Christian and I just don't roll with God, you know? And I didn't cry, which made me look like an awful, apathetic robot girl.

"Martha, look at that awful girl over there. She's not even crying. I bet she also hates Jesus. Ugly, blasphemous girl. I spit on you!"

Story of my life.